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This is Not Your Father’s Shaving Advice Part 4
Everyone’s favorite Uncle is back with some more shaving tips. This still isn’t your father’s shaving advice.
1. Baby Bear’s bed was juuuuust right.
Often times, it can be difficult to get your lather to the right consistency, and thus your shave turns out miserable. The problem may not be your soap/cream, technique, or razor. Check your water. It could be that you have “hard” water. You needn’t run out and buy a water softening system (though Uncle Albert hears they are nice); you can simply add a little baking soda to your sink/tub. About a cup to a tub, or a few tablespoons to the sink. Just don’t slip in the tub!
2. Dick Tracy Villains Inquire Within.
Your face is like rubber. It bends, it stretches, and it snaps more or less back into place. This makes it hard to get a super close shave sometimes. You know that spot under your jawline that just sort of squishes around when you run your razor over it? Pull your skin tight, move that spot up over your jawline if necessary. You might try making an “O” with your mouth to get the skin on your cheeks to pull tight enough. Don’t be afraid of looking like Jim Carey, it’s just you and the mirror.
3. Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog.
Sometimes, you just can’t pull your skin tight enough to get that weird spot on your neck. Try tucking your chin down toward your chest, and puffing out your jowls. This might make you look like a bullfrog, but it might help you get that tricky patch.
4. Let me bend your ear.
Head shaver? Getting that patch behind your ears is a delicate situation sometimes. Try folding the top of your ear down so you can get in nice and close, while protecting the soft fleshy part of the thing you hear with. If you’re shaving with a DE, don’t forget that the razor has a blade edge on both sides! Few things bleed like a sliced ear.
5. “Manscaping”
If you haven’t encountered a discussion on this concept yet, you will. It is, at best, an indelicate topic. Just remember a few key things. Pull your skin tight, be careful, leave some around the outer edges, and don’t follow up with a splash of Pinaud’s Bay Rum.
6. How’s it hangin’?
How do you store your shave brush? Some say bristles down is the only safe way, others say bristles up is a-okay. Uncle albert hasn’t noticed much difference, and the truth is, you likely won’t either. Everyone has their theories on why they store their brush in the manner of their choosing. Nobody’s right. Nobody’s wrong. Store it how you like.
7. Gee, Bert, You need to pluck!
Got a monobrow? Pluck it. I know there’s a temptation to shave that little area, but the irritation from the razor will be up-front and annoying. Man up, grab the tweezers, and yank out those hairs.
8. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink!
Water is your friend when it comes to wetshaving. You want lots of moisture to help the razor glide over your skin. Water is also great for your skin. It’s the original moisturizer. Water is, however, bad for your blade. Be sure and shake your blade dry when you’ve finished rinsing it off. Rust is a nasty thing to have scraping on your skin.
9. A generation apart.
This is isn’t really shaving advice, but more like parenting advice (from your childless Uncle, no less). Let your kid see you shave (Unless of course, you’re experimenting with #5–Shaving lessons should not induce the need for therapy). He’ll be fascinated, and he’ll be super amused at the way you look like Jim Carey swallowed a bullfrog as you gurn at the mirror.
10. Pardon me, Ma’am.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that women shave too. More and more ladies have learned to love the DE experience. When you’re roaming around on the shaving forums, don’t forget that guys. Ladies, see the above advice. One day, your daughter will thank you for teaching her how to shave her legs.
So there it is folks. The fourth installment in Uncle Albert’s Amazing Shaving advice. Try not to scar your face, try not to scar your children, and enjoy your shave!
Merry Christmas from Uncle Albert
Merry Christmas Wet-shavers!
As an extra special gift for the holiday season, I’ve decided to give something back to the community that has given me so much. I present to you the Open Shave License (OSL) and a little something extra.
Open Shave License:
Any recipe presented under this license is to be considered freely available to the general public and anyone using the recipe is entitled to change and or modify the recipe in full or in part as they see fit. The recipe is free for both private and commercial use. It is to be understood that any person or entity presenting a recipe under the Open Shave License (OSL) requests that any new recipes derived from the original recipe bear some form of acknowledgement to its origin.
And now, without further ado, I present to you:
Uncle Albert’s Amazing Solid Cream Shaving Cake — Atreides Scent
(This recipe presented under the OSL)
4oz. Life of the Party(tm) Natural Clear Olive Oil Soap (Special Suspension Formula)
25 drops Lemon EO
25 drops Jasmine EO
10 drops Lime EO
30 drops Clove EO
15 drops Allspice EO
15 drops Anise EO
20 drops Lavender EO
15 drops Cedarwood EO
35 drops Sandalwood/Vanilla FO
35 drops Almond Oil
1/2 teaspoon Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay (Bentonite)
Mix the oils in a small cup.
Melt the soap base thoroughly.
Stir in clay until well dispersed.
Stir in oil mixture.
Pour into mold.
Wait impatiently for soap to harden.
Remove from mold.
Place puck in mug.
Lather.
Shave.
Enjoy!
The Things I Want
As the holiday season approaches, family and friends start inquiring about possible gift ideas. Rather than trying to remember all the things that have caught my eye, or captured my heart, I’ve started keeping a list of things I want. You can go to thethingsiwant.com and set up a list all those items you’ve seen online at various stores. It’s pretty much like the wishlist feature on any number of commercial sites, but instead of being linked to just one store, you can collect items from all over the web in one friendly spot for folks to shop from. When they click on an item you want, it will even take them directly to the store that sells the geegaw so they can easily buy it for you. They can even view your list sorted by price, so they can avoid those high-priced, wishful thinking items like that new Ultra-mobile-PC you’ve been eyeballing.
For those interested in what I’m interested in, click the following link:
The Things I Want
