Category Archives: shaving
This is Not Your Father’s Shaving Advice Part 4
Everyone’s favorite Uncle is back with some more shaving tips. This still isn’t your father’s shaving advice.
1. Baby Bear’s bed was juuuuust right.
Often times, it can be difficult to get your lather to the right consistency, and thus your shave turns out miserable. The problem may not be your soap/cream, technique, or razor. Check your water. It could be that you have “hard” water. You needn’t run out and buy a water softening system (though Uncle Albert hears they are nice); you can simply add a little baking soda to your sink/tub. About a cup to a tub, or a few tablespoons to the sink. Just don’t slip in the tub!
2. Dick Tracy Villains Inquire Within.
Your face is like rubber. It bends, it stretches, and it snaps more or less back into place. This makes it hard to get a super close shave sometimes. You know that spot under your jawline that just sort of squishes around when you run your razor over it? Pull your skin tight, move that spot up over your jawline if necessary. You might try making an “O” with your mouth to get the skin on your cheeks to pull tight enough. Don’t be afraid of looking like Jim Carey, it’s just you and the mirror.
3. Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog.
Sometimes, you just can’t pull your skin tight enough to get that weird spot on your neck. Try tucking your chin down toward your chest, and puffing out your jowls. This might make you look like a bullfrog, but it might help you get that tricky patch.
4. Let me bend your ear.
Head shaver? Getting that patch behind your ears is a delicate situation sometimes. Try folding the top of your ear down so you can get in nice and close, while protecting the soft fleshy part of the thing you hear with. If you’re shaving with a DE, don’t forget that the razor has a blade edge on both sides! Few things bleed like a sliced ear.
5. “Manscaping”
If you haven’t encountered a discussion on this concept yet, you will. It is, at best, an indelicate topic. Just remember a few key things. Pull your skin tight, be careful, leave some around the outer edges, and don’t follow up with a splash of Pinaud’s Bay Rum.
6. How’s it hangin’?
How do you store your shave brush? Some say bristles down is the only safe way, others say bristles up is a-okay. Uncle albert hasn’t noticed much difference, and the truth is, you likely won’t either. Everyone has their theories on why they store their brush in the manner of their choosing. Nobody’s right. Nobody’s wrong. Store it how you like.
7. Gee, Bert, You need to pluck!
Got a monobrow? Pluck it. I know there’s a temptation to shave that little area, but the irritation from the razor will be up-front and annoying. Man up, grab the tweezers, and yank out those hairs.
8. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink!
Water is your friend when it comes to wetshaving. You want lots of moisture to help the razor glide over your skin. Water is also great for your skin. It’s the original moisturizer. Water is, however, bad for your blade. Be sure and shake your blade dry when you’ve finished rinsing it off. Rust is a nasty thing to have scraping on your skin.
9. A generation apart.
This is isn’t really shaving advice, but more like parenting advice (from your childless Uncle, no less). Let your kid see you shave (Unless of course, you’re experimenting with #5–Shaving lessons should not induce the need for therapy). He’ll be fascinated, and he’ll be super amused at the way you look like Jim Carey swallowed a bullfrog as you gurn at the mirror.
10. Pardon me, Ma’am.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that women shave too. More and more ladies have learned to love the DE experience. When you’re roaming around on the shaving forums, don’t forget that guys. Ladies, see the above advice. One day, your daughter will thank you for teaching her how to shave her legs.
So there it is folks. The fourth installment in Uncle Albert’s Amazing Shaving advice. Try not to scar your face, try not to scar your children, and enjoy your shave!
Merry Christmas from Uncle Albert
Merry Christmas Wet-shavers!
Edit: Recipe modified for safety! I reduced the percentage of Essential Oils due to safety concerns.
As an extra special gift for the holiday season, I’ve decided to give something back to the community that has given me so much. I present to you the Open Shave License (OSL) and a little something extra.
Open Shave License:
Any recipe presented under this license is to be considered freely available to the general public and anyone using the recipe is entitled to change and or modify the recipe in full or in part as they see fit. The recipe is free for both private and commercial use. It is to be understood that any person or entity presenting a recipe under the Open Shave License (OSL) requests that any new recipes derived from the original recipe bear some form of acknowledgement to its origin.
And now, without further ado, I present to you:
Uncle Albert’s Amazing Solid Cream Shaving Cake — Atreides Scent
(This recipe presented under the OSL)
4oz. Life of the Party(tm) Natural Clear Olive Oil Soap (Special Suspension Formula)
5 drops Lemon EO
5 drops Jasmine EO
2 drops Lime EO
6 drops Clove EO
3 drops Allspice EO
3 drops Anise EO
4 drops Lavender EO
3 drops Cedarwood EO
7 drops Sandalwood/Vanilla FO
35 drops Almond Oil
1/2 teaspoon Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay (Bentonite)
Mix the oils in a small cup.
Melt the soap base thoroughly.
Stir in clay until well dispersed.
Stir in oil mixture.
Pour into mold.
Wait impatiently for soap to harden.
Remove from mold.
Place puck in mug.
Lather.
Shave.
Enjoy!
This Is Not Your Father’s Shaving Advice (Part the Third)
Uncle Albert has come around again, offering some more advice. These are tips that your dad probably didn’t share, but that might make your entry to wetshaving a mite more tolerable. Remember, this is not your father’s advice (part the third).
1. On a scale of 1 to 10… Those little numbers on the neck of your razor represent how harsh the razor is. 1 is the least harsh, 9 is the most. The closer the blade is to the guard, the less hair the blade takes off in a single pass. There’s no shame in shaving on a “1″, especially if you’re a beginner. Some will say that you should “set it and forget it” and others will say that they adjust the razor to a different number for each pass. Both are right–do what works for you.
2. Your Barn Door is Open. When adjusting your razor, be sure and open the silo doors before you adjust your razor. Adjusting your razor without opening the doors first can damage it. Consider this a friendly warning.
3. How long have you had that rash? Sometimes, a single pass, with-the-grain shave is a good thing. If you find that that second pass is causing a lot of weepers then you might want to limit your neck shave to one pass. That light stubble on your neck isn’t nearly as noticeable as you think it is, but those little red bumps don’t make a good commercial for your new-found practices.
4. Mmmm, Old Man Scent! There’s nothing wrong with drugstore scents. Alot of guys love the “classic” scents like Old Spice, Aqua Velva, and Skin Bracer. With so many new and complex scents being over-marketed today, sometimes the old standbys are the freshest scent. Give them a whiff, they might surprise you.
5. Let me “Axe” you something, do you think that smells good? Axe stinks. Actually, it probably doesn’t smell that bad, but it’s overused. If Axe and its clones were music, they’d be that song that they play every five minutes on the radio–you know the one, it sticks in your head until you hate it. Teenagers love Axe, and they don’t realize the difference between cologne and deodorant, so they tend to overuse it. Maybe one day it’ll be the Old Spice of a generation. Let’s hope we don’t live to see that day.
6. You have two ears, use them. Audio feedback can go a long way to helping improve your shave. That “scritching” sound tells you that the blade is cutting hairs. Many will argue that audio feedback isn’t necessary, and some maintain that the noise is an indicator that you don’t have proper blade angle. Uncle Albert disagrees.
7. Sooth the shaving beast. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with your technique and learned to “hear” your shave by touch, try adding a little music to your routine. Uncle Albert likes to load up Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass’s “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” but The Girlwatchers’ “Music to Watch Girls By” is a good album too. A good turntable and some old LPs can really add to the experience.
8. Stop and smell the roses. Rose is a very popular scent with many men. There are various creams, soaps, and aftershaves that serve as a testament to this. If, like Uncle Albert, you find that rose is a little too “sour” smelling for your tastes, you might look to other floral scents. While floral bouquets may not sound masculine, they really can work well for some men. Lavender, Jasmine, and Lilac have been the favourites of men for ages. There is a reason for this.
9. You’ll never know until you try it. Lilac Vegetal is a special aftershave splash. Many don’t like it. Some love it. Few are indifferent. You really owe it to yourself to try Lilac Vegetal at least once. It looks like antifreeze and it smells like skunk in the bottle. Don’t go by what you smell fresh from the bottle, however, it changes on the skin. If you are one of the fortunate few whose body chemistry works well with the green nectar, you will likely love the stuff. If, however, it doesn’t work for you, then you will smell like some sort of heinous chemical cocktail for the rest of the day. If you don’t try it out for yourself, though, you’ll never know and you’ll always wonder.
10. Tiny Bubbles… For those of you who shave in the bath-tub, here’s a tip for rinsing the lather from your face. Get on your knees, and lean forward. Submerge your face (Uncle Albert has to hold his nose) and blow. The bubbles will spread out over your face and neck, gently rinsing the foam off. If you dip your face deep enough into the water, it will get that little bit of lather that always gets stuck behind the front flap of your ear, too. A nice bonus to this technique is that it makes you feel like you’re 10 years old again, albeit for a brief moment.
There it is. This advice is not meant to be a set of steadfast rules, but rather some gentle tips to help you get more out of your shave. I hope it helps you out on your quest to BBSdom, and if it makes you feel a little younger along the way, then so be it!
