As I crawled into the tub, not really looking forward to the task that lie ahead, I thought to myself, “There’s no way this shave is going to be worth a crap tonight, I don’t feel good and my heart just isn’t in it.”
My sinuses full of detritus, I couldn’t breath, I briefly eyed the aqua velva and considered giving it a good snort just to see if that would releive some of the pressure. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, noting the black eye that’s forming as a result of the sinus blockage. After a good long soak ‘n’ scrub, I looked at the impliments that would likely spell my doom.
An african violet pot turned scuttle, filled with 2 cups of boiling water straight from the hotshot.
A Burma Shave boar— I’m giving the badger a rest for awhile.
A British Rocket with freshly loaded walmart Personna
A headblade with freshly loaded Dollar General Atra cartridge
A bottle of Headslick
An Old Spice mug loaded with an Uncle Albert’s Amazing Solid Cream Shaving Cake –Atreides scent
A nearly empty bottle of Pinaud’s Bay Rum
After holding a washrag over my face for several minutes, more to ease the pain of breathing than to prep for the shave, I loaded up my brush. Building a lather in the scuttle, I got it to an acceptable consitency and began smearing on my face. Nothing too unusual so far. Then, bringing the razor to my face, I remember some advice I picked up on here. For years, I’ve been leading with the safety bar, so I tried doing it the other way around. I placed the top of the razor to my skin and gently rocked it down until the blade was at what I considered to be the proper angle. I couldn’t really go by auditory feedback because the space heater drowns everything out. I swiped the razor along on a wtg pass. I could feel nothing. Surely, I remembered to load a blade? Yup, there’s a blade in there… feel, feel, feel. Wow, it was almost BBS on the first pass. I finished up the pass and was amazed at how smooth I was. I flipped my razor and did an ATG and I was done. That was an amazingly quick and smooth shave… I had 2 little spots that needed touching up, and I was done. I splashed a little bayrum on, expecting the inevitable burn, and barely felt anything— that neeeeever happens!
Next, I lathered up my noggin, and went to town with the head blade. No second passes, no drags, no knicks— everything went according to plan. Splashed on a little bayrum up top, and again, hardly any burn. I couldn’t believe how well that shave went. It felt so good, that for a few minutes, I didn’t realize I was in pain from my allergies.